Heartbreaking...

It's really sad...
To hear something like that from someone you love..

Did he marry me to change me?
Did he have to say it so loud in front of others?

I know i am untidy, i like to leave things here and there...
But so? it kills for you to pick it up?
It kills that you have to be mad about it & say that you dont even know why you marry me?

Just because i left my med on the coffee table & mag on the floor?
Does it bothers you that much that you have to say something so bad?

Now i really wonder, why you marry me for? You knew what/who i was already.
And you are picking & complaining... Did i ever ?

Dont say you dont have flaws, but i never complain..
Dont ask me to list coz i never remember them.

I know my own flaws, i try to change, i try to improve.
But you shouldnt have said that i NEVER CHANGE! TELL ME, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SAME PROBLEM?

Jace

Back aGAIN

Whenever you see me back here..
Means i am out of my wits to talk to anyone or totally broken up inside..

I dont know why...
Maybe i am really not a good wife material..
I cannot be that perfect wife that cooks in the kitchen & tidy the house..

i wanna get away from all this..
away & far..

everytime i say this.. it onlys bleeds my heart..
Coz i know i can never go away...
My heart is so soft...

i whim at everything he says, he does..
he is always right.. i am always wrong ( well most of the time)

i guess thats how it goes..

byes...

Constant in Life

There was once, i posted something about Constant in Life..

Thinking that there will be a time, where my life will be in a constant.

No more huge ups and downs..

Just peaceful and calm..

Now..

I have to lower my head and admit..

There is no such thing a constant in life.

Nothing is constant...

My dream constant of happiness and smiles will never come true..

There will always be a glitch and i don't know how to get rid of it..

It is sapping up my soul & taking away my smiles...

Can someone cure me and remove my crazy thoughts and actions...

Or i have to pay of it...

Ciaos..

Why again

Why do you have to make me feel this way?

Keep asking me not to worry, dont have to worry...

But the things you say makes me do.

It's all about paper with value -.-

I hate it... but what can i say?

But that few thousand... is it really gonna kill?

Heck it..

Cheers

Pissed

What the hell.

Does words have to be so sharp & rude?

Fu*king say it like that to me.

I merely ask did he do anything to my laptop as i am unable to open my facebook at all.

He slap me with words " Do what? saying mine sux, yours sux"

What the hell.

F*cking pissed off.

We are husband and wife, shouldnt we not talk to each other with rude words and abusive tone?

shouldnt it be like kind words, paitence and loving?

FUCK off.

Why?

Almost exactly 1year and 2months ( maybe more) since i wrote here.

I cannot breathe and i feel that i am losing myself, the way i really am.

Should it be this way?

I dont know.

But i love baby.

=)

Jace